More of The Devil's Dictionary (Ambrose Bierce)

INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

KILL, v.t. To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.

LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.