A few more lines I like... from Blood and Groom

At a spa retreat: The scrawny clerk with her granite complexion and tombstone teeth was hardly a walking advertisement for the “New and Improved You” espoused by this holistic hell.


Some say money is the root of all evil, but I say it’s the root, trunk, branches, and all.

Clowns at my wedding? Other than the bride and groom, I’d have never thought of it.

Was fate trying to tell me something? Like maybe I should take up recreational glue sniffing?

I got a call from Mick, asking me what kind of flowers I’d choose for my bridal bouquet. “Dandelions,” I said.