Sasha's brother Shane: Why My Sister Drives Me Crazy

Hi folks, this is Sasha's big brother Shane.  Let me say right off the bat that I love my sister, but she really tries my patience at times. 


Imagine what it's like to comment on your sister's new hairstyle and to hear her say: "I had no choice.  The fire burned most of it."  Normal people don't have flames bursting out of their heads.  I'm just saying...


I'll never forget the time I got the call from the hospital.  It was late at night and someone from the Emergency called, and said to get down there right away.  Sasha had been shot... in the boobs.  There's no "Get Well" card for that.


I admire the fact that she has a lot of guts, but she doesn't seem to know her own limits.  She equates the desire to do something with the ability to do something.  Among her many talents are singing and being a rather adept burglar, but she can't drive worth a damn and her cooking, oh , God, her cooking...


She decided one summer Sunday that she'd make dinner for the family.  I'll give her creidt for the steaks - she grilled them, and they were tender and tasty, and perfectly seasoned.  But the side dish... ugh.  She made veggies, green beans maybe, or broccoli?  Whatever.  It would have been okay if she had just left it alone, steamed them and served them.  But no.  Not Sasha. 


She had a recipe for some kind of creamy sauce to put on the vegetables.  The recipe called for half a cup of cream, 18% cream maybe?  35% maybe?  Whatever.  Liquid.  Cream.  She probably could have even used Half and Half.  We were out of cream, and milk too for that matter.  So Sasha used a half cup of Ready Whip, you know, the whip cream you spray out of a can?  It was disgusting.  Of course, she didn't tell me or Dad that until after we had eaten everything on our plates.